KHR oneshots
by blue pikmin-chan
Summary: A series of oneshots revolving around the khr characters.
1. Large problems

**This is the result of two cups of tea, a milkshake and a coffee. It was originally supposed to be my English homework but somehow it turned into this. I don't own khr.**

Uh oh. This was going to be an extremely large problem. Fran knew he shouldn't have done it. He really was stupid. He knew there was a meeting. Problem was, it was necessary. He had spent the past two days and nights absorbed in a book, only getting up to eat. Now he could barely keep his eyes open. He still shouldn't have done it.

He shouldn't have drank six cups of coffee right before a long meeting. He should have just fallen asleep and dealt with the consequences. But Squalo was very strict about these things. Now all that was going through his head was. "I _am_ the master of my own bladder," over and over again.

He couldn't sit still. He noticed they were all giving him weird looks. Really weird looks. "Fran are you alright?" asked Lussuria.

Squalo was less polite. "VOIIIII! Sit still. You're distracting."

His face contorted into a grimace. He kept repeating those eight words over and over in his head. "I _am _the master of my own bladder."

It didn't take long for Belphegor to realise what had happened. He started tickling Fran under the table. He tried to ignore it but it was too much. He started laughing.

"Ushishishi peasant. Be quiet. You're annoying."

Fran couldn't take it anymore. He stood up. "I gotta go," he said flatly as he dashed off towards the bathroom.

Everyone sat there staring then Levi broke the silence. "How does he manage to keep his voice like that even when he's about to explode?"

They all cracked up laughing.

**So how was it? Anyway please R&R! **


	2. Algebra

**Yep I couldn't be bothered making another story so I'm writing a series of oneshots. I don't own khr.**

Byakuran was in a really bad mood. They had a maths test. He stared at it but couldn't think of the answers. It was algebra which was never his strong point. He tapped his pencil against the table top. Eventually, he started tapping to a beat. Around him, he heard people whispering for him to shut up. He ignored them at first but eventually stopped. God he wanted some marshmallows right now. They helped him concentrate. Plus he felt like L from death note.

After a few more minutes of staring at the test paper, he had an idea. _He _may not have been good at algebra but surely one of his other selves would. That was it. He would go to a parallel world and give the test paper to himself. It was fool proof. Hopefully. Now all he had to do was hope no-one would notice the cocoon in the middle of the classroom. It wasn't likely. They were all idiots.

He gave the test to his parallel self and returned. His classmates were panicking. So they did notice. Maybe they weren't such idiots. He was still in the cocoon so he decided to do something that would confuse the hell out of them.

He emerged from the cocoon with wings. "It's a Byakuranfly!" yelled someone. He mentally facepalmed. A Byakuranfly? Really? Couldn't they be a little more creative? There was a lot of screaming. He didn't exactly blame them. He had just emerged from a cocoon. Oh well. What's done is done. And it was fun.

He made his way through the crowd of his classmates, to the front of the room where the teacher was standing. He handed in his test and strolled out of the room leaving everyone inside wondering what the hell had just happened.

**Ten years later…**

Byakuran smiled at those old memories. Childhood was so much fun.

**How was it? I'm happy to take requests for chapters. Like always, please R&R and I'll update asap.**


	3. Headache

**New chapter! I don't own KHR. **

He sat, curled up in a ball in the dark, quiet room. His head was throbbing. He couldn't believe this. The great Hibari Kyoya, defeated by a mere headache. Those things were for herbivores to worry about. It shouldn't have bothered him.

The door slowly creaked open. Even the slight noise made his head hurt more. He flinched at the light. A small hand rested on his shoulder. It was the small herbivore. Tsuna gave him a glass of water and a tablet. "Here," he said softly. "This will help."

Hibari drank the water and went back to being curled up in a ball. Normally, he would've bitten the herbivore to death but his head hurt too much for that today. He would make up for it another time.

He heard loud footsteps outside the door and clutched his aching head. The door was pushed open and slammed into the wall behind it. A small figure appeared. "Who am I? I am Lambo!"

Hibari moaned and clutched his head. Why did the noisy herbivore have to be here now? The door opened again and another small herbivore walked in. She started to yell at Lambo then noticed Hibari and went very still. A strange countdown appeared on her forehead. Tsuna ran in, grabbed the child, and threw her outside. There was an explosion. To him, it felt like a jackhammer was going off inside his head.

"Hibari-san I'm so sorry. They followed me here," he said quietly before adding, "Please don't hurt me!" He then left the room. Hibari couldn't wait until his headache was gone so he could bite that herbivore to death. Twice.

He looked up and noticed a purple mist was forming in the room. At first he was confused, but he soon realised. This was going to be very bad. Very, very bad.

"Kufufufufu." An all too familiar laugh echoed through the room. The mist thickened.

**Was it okay? Please R&R. Also if you give me a character and a scenario (e.g. Fran needs to pee, Byakuran has a maths test) I would be happy to do a chapter on it! Bye and expect an update soon.**


	4. Sandwiches

**It's raining here so I decided to update again. Enjoy. I don't own KHR. (I really should stop writing when I'm hungry. It seems that most of my stories involve food lately.)**

Bel's stomach grumbled. He looked at the clock. The time was 3:00 pm. It was too early. He wanted to go back to sleep but first he needed a snack. He went to go find Lussuria and pester him until the older man made him a snack. That was their usual routine.

He lazily slid out of bed and put on a dressing gown. He fumbled around in the dark until he found what he was looking for. His tiara. Sorry, _Crown. _He put it on and walked downstairs. That was strange. The living room was empty. He walked into the kitchen. Also empty. Both cars were gone so he assumed they were out.

He would have to make his own food. What could he make that wouldn't end in disaster? He raided the fridge and the pantry. He was hoping to find microwave popcorn or something equally easy to make but there wasn't anything. Eventually, he found a loaf of bread and a packet of those cheese slices that taste like plastic but are good in toasted sandwiches. That was what he would have.

He got out the Varia's old, dusty sandwich maker (It hadn't been used much since Xanxus tried to destroy it when his steak sandwich burnt). It was a little dented but it still worked. He plugged it in and started to make his sandwich.

First he got out two slices of bread, then opened the cheese. He tried to remove a slice but it was stuck. He got his nail under the corner of the slice and tried to pry it off. It broke off. He tried again. Soon his slice of cheese had no corners left. "Why won't you unstick!" he yelled in frustration. He grabbed the slice and pulled it. It was coming off! That was, until it broke in half. He swore loudly and threw the cheese at the floor. The slice detached from the rest easily. That drove him over the edge. He stomped on it, squishing it into the cracks between the floorboards. He picked up the remaining slices and finally managed to get one off.

Then, he got the butter from the fridge and spread it on one side. It was too cold and ripped up the bread. He swore again and got a new slice of bread. So it didn't happen again, he put the butter in the microwave. He must have left it in for too long since when he checked it, it was nothing but a puddle in the bottom. He dipped the bread in and continued his sandwich.

Finally, he finished preparing his sandwich. The time was 3:20. A task that would have taken anyone else two minutes took him twenty. His snack was in the sandwich maker cooking. Now all he had to do was wait. He was looking out the kitchen window when he saw something. Hanging from a tree, were his underpants.

He turned red and ran outside to get them. It must have been Fran. The froggie never missed a chance to embarrass him. When he got home, there would be a little surprise waiting for him. He walked back inside and put them away. He walked back down to get his sandwich. He opened the sandwich maker only to discover his sandwich was gone. Maybe not everyone went out.

"That tasted good! Thanks fake prince-senpai!" said someone in a flat monotone. It could only be one person. That frog was going to pay.

**How was it? It was a really long chapter compared to the others but I couldn't stop writing. Please R&R! Bye.**


	5. Coffee

**I swear half my stories have coffee in them. Oh well. I think I just like typing the word coffee. Anyway,I don't own KHR**

Ken walked into the coffee shop. He looked at the list he had been given. According to Mukuro, since he was the dog, he should do the errands. He had to buy drinks for everyone.

It was like they tried to pick the drinks with the longest names. Now he was standing in the world's longest line. He didn't even like coffee. Frankly, the smell nauseated him. He had a sneaking suspicion that was exactly why Mukuro asked him to do this. Also they all asked for muffins. He loved muffins. Especially the chocolate ones. Unfortunately, he'd been specifically instructed to buy what was on the list and nothing else. He decided he'd disobey Mukuro just this once and buy one. His idea of heaven was sitting down with a hot chocolate and a muffin. Of course, if anyone asked, he would deny it since that was not the manliest of things. It would be embarrassing if Chrome found out.

He felt heat spread through his cheeks at the very thought of Chrome. He had to supress his feelings. She was Mukuro's. He owed everything to Mukuro. He noticed he was nearly at the front of the line. He got ready to order. "Next please," came the call from the lady behind the counter. He shuffled forward. "What do you want?" she asked, smiling.

"Uh," he said looking down at the enormous list they had given him. "Can I have a large decaf espresso, a skinny cappuccino, a low fat chai latte, a large vanilla milkshake and six blueberry muffins? Oh and a chocolate muffin-byon."

She looked surprisingly unsurprised. He guessed she had to handle this kind of thing a fair bit. He felt sorry for her. He was snapped out of his thoughts by a tap on the shoulder. His order was ready. He grabbed the tray of drinks and the box of muffins and left.

In the car he ate the chocolate muffin. He got to their hideout (Kokuyo Land), knocked three times and entered. "I bring coffee!" he yelled.

He gave Chikusa his milkshake and a muffin, M.M got an espresso, Chrome got her cappuccino and a muffin and Mukuro got a chai latte and four muffins. No-one questioned Mukuro. It didn't matter what he chose to order. They all knew if they questioned his choice of drink they would die.

"Ken! Yelled Mukuro.

"What-byon?"

"Did you ask for extra cinnamon in this?"

Damn. He knew he'd forgotten something. "Go get another one," commanded Mukuro. Ken sighed and went to buy another drink.

**Thanks for reading! Please R&R**


	6. Peach cobbler

**New chapter! I don't own KHR**

Squalo woke up at the crack of dawn. He snuck downstairs, making sure no-one was awake. He walked outside. There was a thick ring of forest around the Varia mansion which he navigated his way through. Eventually, he reached a small clearing. His clearing.

He had a small garden patch where he grew everything he could find seeds for. He even had a peach tree. If any of the others found out, he would be laughed at. The only annoying thing was gardening wasn't exactly easy with a sword for a hand. He was working on it but it was hard to take care of the plants. He was good at picking flowers though. One swipe with his sword and they were cut perfectly.

He watered his plants and weeded the garden beds (with his good hand obviously) then went back hoping no-one had noticed his absence.

When he got back, only Lussuria was awake. The boxer was making himself breakfast. "Oh Squ-chan! Good morning. Sit down and I'll make you some breakfast."

Squalo growled. "Don't. Call. Me. Squ-chan."

"Okay, calm down. Where were you anyway?"

"Um, I was training."

"Reliable old Squ-chan. Always training."

"VOIIIII! I told you not to call me Squ-chan!" he yelled waving his sword in Lussuria's face.

The rest of the day was like usual. A lot of fighting and breaking stuff. He walked into the kitchen where Lussuria was cooking something. It smelt good. He asked what it was. "Peach cobbler!" he exclaimed.

Squalo had a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Where did you get the peaches?" he asked.

Lussuria smiled. "Oh I found this lovely little vegie garden in the forest. Why?"

"Uh, no reason."

**How was it? R&R PS. Sorry for any errors I was doing this in Indonesian class! **


	7. Hangover

**Hey everyone! I know I've been way too lazy lately and I really should have been updating but I've kept putting it off and I've been busy with music exams and stuff. Anyway, here is the next chapter! I don't own KHR**

Xanxus woke up with a splitting headache and no recollections of the night before. He sleepily opened his eyes and looked around. He was in a jungle. A freaking jungle. How the hell had that happened?

He shakily stood, holding onto a tree next to him. It seemed sturdy. He looked around not seeing anything but trees. Suddenly he realised something. He wasn't wearing his usual outfit. He was in some kind of animal skin. That meant his phone was gone too. He couldn't call the girly trash or the suck up. What would he do?

He walked a little way until he found some water and took a long drink. That was better. Already his head was feeling a little better. He continued walking for a while before realising something else. There was no sun in this place. Now he was really confused. But there was something ahead. Something big.

He walked until he got there and found a wall. But there were no walls in the jungle so where was he?

He followed the wall to a door. By the door were his clothes. And there was lighting equipment and cameras. He took the phone out of his pocket and called Lussuria.

"Hello," replied a girly voice on the first ring.

"Oi trash, where the hell am I?" he growled.

"You were really drunk and ended up signing a modelling contract. I would say nothing we said would change your mind but to tell you the truth, we found it really funny and decided to wait and see what happened."

Xanxus hung up. Trash was going to die when he got home.


End file.
